What Is Character
“You want your child to be kind, responsible, and strong — but how do you actually teach that?”
Character is not something children are born with — it's something they learn, practice, and strengthen over time. In Building Moral Intelligence, Dr. Michele Borba describes character as a set of teachable strengths — like empathy, integrity, and responsibility — that guide how children treat others and respond to life's challenges.
What matters most is this: character is built in the small, everyday moments parents often overlook. It's in how a child responds when things don't go their way, whether they tell the truth when it's uncomfortable, or how they treat a sibling after an argument. Those repeated experiences slowly shape a child's internal compass.
Parents sometimes feel pressure to focus on achievement, performance, and keeping kids busy. But character is about something deeper: who your child is becoming. Research consistently shows that children with strong character strengths are more resilient, more confident, and better able to build healthy relationships later in life.
The reassuring news is that character does not require perfection. It grows through practice, guidance, reflection, and opportunities to try again. The small moments matter far more than the big speeches.
- 01Notice and name character moments out loud
- 02Connect behavior to values: "That showed kindness" or "That took courage"
- 03Focus less on performance and more on how your child treats others
Strong character becomes the foundation for resilience, empathy, confidence, and healthy decision-making throughout life.
Character is built one small moment at a time.
Talking About Character
The most meaningful conversations about character rarely happen during big lectures — they happen in calm, everyday moments.
Character Is a Verb
Knowing what's right is not the same as practicing what's right. Character is a verb, not a noun.
Empathy Starts with Noticing
Empathy begins with awareness. In UnSelfie, I explain that children must first learn to recognize emotions before they can respond with compassion.
Teach Perspective-Taking
Perspective-taking is one of the strongest builders of empathy. When children learn to think beyond their own experience, they become kinder, more patient, and less reactive.
Model Empathy Daily
The way parents speak to others, respond to stress, and handle disagreements teaches children what compassion looks like in real life.
Empathy Reduces Conflict
Empathy helps children manage conflict because it teaches them to think about how their actions affect others.